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Toxic Masculinity and How it Hurts Men

8/14/2017

What is toxic masculinity?
Toxic masculinity is the name for the aspects of masculinity that are harmful to men and boys alike. Not all masculinity is toxic just as not all femininity is toxic, but there are large elements of masculinity that cause a great deal of pain to men.

What are some examples of toxic masculinity?
You probably know a few examples already but some very common ones are things like “boys don’t cry” and “take it like a man.” Both of those phrases put a label on how a man is supposed to handle his emotions versus how someone else would. The phrase “boys don’t cry” is obviously not true. Men cry and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing at all that is inherently non-masculine about expressing one’s feelings.

Another common but not as often heard example of toxic masculinity would be the assumption that men aren’t subject to physical abuse and aren’t or even “can’t” be raped/sexually assaulted because they’re men. One very common thing male rape survivors hear (especially if their rapist was female) is that they probably enjoyed it, this more often than not leads to a great deal of male rape survivors not reporting their assault in any form. The idea that a man would enjoy any kind of sex - even non-consensual sex - is a product of the toxic idea that men are inherently more sexual than women and therefore cannot be raped because they always want sex. There is nothing wrong with being very sexual, yet it is the expectation placed on all men to be very sexual that causes damage to men if they do not live up to the expectation.

But isn’t it true that less men are raped and physically abused?
Technically speaking it is true that men are raped less often than women (1 in 5 women are raped while 1 in 59 men will be raped), while the gap between the statistics is still large men are still far from never being raped. Outside of specifically rape men are sexually abused much more than is commonly thought; at some point in his life 1 in 5 men have experienced sexual violence other than rape. Additionally, of men who were victims of rape, over a quarter were under the age of ten when the assault first occurred versus the 12% of women who were raped under the age of ten. Ultimately the belief that men are almost never sexually abused is solely a product of toxic masculinity.

When it comes to physical abuse it can’t really be said that men are abused much less than women since the statistics are so similar; on average 1 in 3 women is abused by an intimate partner and 1 in 4 men is abused by an intimate partner. Additionally, 1 in 7 men has been severely physically abused by an intimate partner. Severe physical abuse includes (but is not limited to) being hit with a fist or something hard, kicked, hair pulling, slammed against something, being choked or suffocated, beaten, burned intentionally, or being hurt with a knife or gun.

What does this have to do with sex trafficking?
Male visibility as survivors of sex trafficking is incredibly low. There are a great deal of coalitions or task forces designed to aid female survivors, yet there are next to no groups dedicated to specifically helping male survivors of sex trafficking. Toxic masculinity hurts men universally, but is particularly harmful when it comes to male survivors of sex trafficking. Toxic masculinity tells men they should not express their emotions of hurt or sorrow, it tells them they cannot be sexually abused because they should always want sex, it tells them that if they cry or if they try to have their rapist arrested they aren’t “real men.” To add these pressures onto the shoulders of a person who has been sex trafficked only exacerbates their victimization undermines their trauma recovery.

Well, what do I do now?
Now that you’ve read through this post and have learned more about toxic masculinity you should do even more research! Look for articles or posts similar to this one and be wary of people saying that toxic masculinity isn’t real or that all masculinity is toxic. (Sites like Men Can Stop Rape’s are a great resource both for information and furthering the cause.) But more importantly you should take time and consider how you treat men (regardless of your gender identity).

Try to monitor your own behavior. Ask yourself “Am I being accepting? Am I being kind?” Listen to men who speak up about unrealistic expectations for them just as you would listen to anyone else talking about the same thing. Try to challenge your thought process when you find yourself thinking things like “I bet he enjoyed it” or “he’s not a real man.” Challenge your friends and family when they place judgements on how men should behave and remind yourself and others that domestic abuse and rape do not exclude men. And more importantly remember that no one is less of a man for being abused. Challenge other men! Not all men are aware of toxic masculinity and often perpetuate it themselves. (That’s not to say that women don’t as well.) Of course also consider volunteering! Volunteer work allows you to be an ally in a very concrete way to people who toxic masculinity has hurt. Combatting things like toxic masculinity and standing up for male rape and domestic abuse victims is how we as a society move forward, but remember the most important change comes within ourselves.

Try to lead by example and remind yourself that we all feel pain and we don’t all know everything. Try to teach others and be open to others teaching you. We aren’t perfect all the time, making mistakes is how we learn because others are there to help us.

Return of Kings, Rape Culture, and Sex Trafficking

2/9/2016

The group Return of Kings and its founder, Daryush Valizadeh (“Roosh V”), have been in the news a lot lately. You’ve probably heard about the worldwide meetup events that were scheduled for February 6th and then canceled due to safety concerns.

The statements by Valizadeh and the beliefs of his group are relevant to our anti-sex-trafficking work, so let’s dig into it.

First, a little background:
Return of Kings (hereafter RoK) is not, sadly, a Lord of the Rings fan club. It’s a website and group that advocates for traditional gender roles, the destruction of feminism, and a return to patriarchy.

RoK was founded by Daryush Valizadeh, or “Roosh V”, an American blogger, pickup artist, and advocate of “neomasculinity.” He teaches men how to get women to sleep with them by any means necessary (including intentionally lowering a woman’s self-esteem and other coercive acts).

Heads up: I will not link directly to the Return of Kings website or to any of Valizadeh’s social media sites because I don’t want to give them/him any kind of boost in views or ad revenue. I will include links to news articles instead.

The RoK site contains articles titled “The Decline of American Women”, “How to Turn a Feminist Into Your Sex Slave", and “Women Have Reduced Themselves to Sexual Commodities.”

Recently, RoK planned a worldwide heterosexual-men-only meetup event for Saturday the 6th and experienced major backlash. The Australian Prime Minister indicated that Valizadeh would not be allowed into the country, feminists (both male and female) the world over threatened to protest the events, and petitions sprang up to prevent them or to declare RoK a hate group. The hacking group Anonymous also doxxed Valizadeh (posted his personal information publicly). The number of men who planned to attend is unknown, but Valizadeh has over 19,000 followers on twitter. Ultimately, the events were canceled because the group couldn’t guarantee the safety of the participants.

Valizadeh has also been in the news because of an article he posted last year arguing that the solution to the problem of rape is that rape should be made legal on private property. (I swear I am not making this up). His argument was that, if women knew they could legally be raped anywhere on private property, they’d be less likely to put themselves into risky situations (because obviously, he thinks victims are to blame). In the last few weeks, he has claimed that the article was satire, but in the context of everything else on his website and other things he’s said, I’m not sure I believe him.

Since I don’t want to send you to his website, here’s a list of 10 of his most notable points from International Business Times.

So today we’re talking about rape culture and how it connects with sex trafficking.

Let me define that so we’re all on the same page. By “rape culture”, I mean the enabling of rapists and normalizing of violent non-consensual sexual acts. Rape culture is evident when victims are blamed for being raped (e.g. “asking for it”), or when women are told to change their behavior or clothing to keep from getting raped. It’s evident when the actions of rapists are trivialized (“boys will be boys”), when men are encouraged to use coercive behavior or applauded for doing so, when the notion of consent is belittled, or when sexual harassment is tolerated.

By “rape culture”, I mean the enabling of rapists and normalizing of violent non-consensual sexual acts.

There are those (including RoK) who claim that the idea of rape culture is a creation of militant feminists in order to blame men for any sexual act a woman regrets afterward. (Click if you dare: the user-submitted definitions on Urban Dictionary are an example of this denial.) But we live in a country where rape is rampant on college campuses. We live in a country where rape happens every 2 minutes, and where 98% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. (Source.)

The very existence of RoK proves that rape culture is real. This type of misogyny is pervasive and harmful, and we should continue to address that as a society.

By the way, it’s a disservice to men as well.

Telling women they have to dress conservatively in order to avoid getting raped assumes that men just can’t help themselves, that they are simply incapable of refraining from raping a woman they find attractive. That’s not the case. Men have self-control, and they can - and should be expected to - use it.

Rape culture contributes to the problem of sex trafficking, both on the supply side and on the demand side.

Why do you think buyers buy? Control. Buying ensures that you cannot be rejected. It takes away a person’s ability to say no. In sex trafficking, the person being sold is being forced into it, and so her/his ability to say yes or to say no has been completely taken away. Let’s call that what it is: rape. And if the person being forcibly sold for sex is underage, like the survivors we serve at Courtney’s House? That’s rape.

Why do you think pimps sell people for sex? They know buyers will buy. They know they’ll always be able to make a profit. In this culture, in which everything is over-sexualized, in which there is such pressure on men to have sex in order to prove their masculinity, there will always be someone looking to buy. I guarantee you, if no one was buying from them, pimps wouldn’t be selling.

And vice versa.

The very availability of sex for purchase also contributes to the perpetuation of rape culture. Since it’s possible to buy sex in every city with a quick Google search, what does that say about our society’s idea of consent? What does that teach our young men about how to treat women?*

When men join groups like RoK that are geared toward demeaning and exploiting women, and when men lend their support to vocal advocates of misogyny and rape, it teaches more men that women are worthless.

When pimps sing and rap about how cool it is to be a pimp, it teaches young listeners that demeaning women is not just acceptable, but cool. When older men brag about experiences with buying sex from teenage girls, it teaches younger listeners that exploitation is normal and fun.

When men join groups like RoK that are geared toward demeaning and exploiting women, and when men lend their support to vocal advocates of misogyny and rape, it teaches more men that women are worthless.

It’s a vicious circle.

Well that's uplifting. What can I do about it?

See it for what it is. Pay attention to the words and images and actions that perpetuate rape culture. Think critically about how they shape attitudes toward women and the experiences of women just trying to make their way in the world without being assaulted.

Talk about it. Call people out when they make jokes about rape. Point out to friends when you see rape culture being perpetuated, or where consent isn’t being respected. Teach your teenagers how to treat others with respect. Watch out for stereotypes, and always think critically.

PSA: If you’ve been sexually assaulted, know someone who has, or are interested in volunteering, reach out to your local Rape Crisis Center. (Look it up here.)

If you’re here in DC with us, get in touch with our friends at the DCRCC.

Check out Safe Harbor laws in your state. Are underage people in your area being charged with prostitution? Are your local law enforcement officers receiving training on recognizing sex trafficking and treating survivors appropriately? If not, contact your representatives and start that conversation! We can help provide that training and advocate for policy changes. (Contact us)

Rape culture isn’t going to disappear overnight, and neither is sex trafficking, unfortunately. But seeing it for what it is, talking about it, and advocating for change will continue to chip away at it. As more and more people are educated, as frank conversations are had and mistaken impressions are corrected, things will change. They’ve got to.

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

*And don’t even get me started on how rape culture and sex trafficking impact the LGBT community. That’s another blog for another day.

Social Media and Sex Trafficking: Why Pinterest is Winning

9/24/2015

Social media is fun, but it can be risky. Putting info about yourself out on the internet for anyone to find, communicating with strangers, letting them in on your daily activities - this can be risky. It’s a fact most people have heard and it’s why there are privacy settings and approvals.

If you’re a sex trafficker, you want to be where the vulnerable are. You know kids and teenagers use social media like it’s their job, so why wouldn’t you be on social media too?

Still, a lot of people don’t know that traffickers use social media too. We don’t think about it that way. But consider: traffickers prey on the vulnerable. (Wait a minute, I’ve written that before! Both here and here. That’s because it’s super-duper true and it bears repeating.) If you’re a sex trafficker, you want to be where the vulnerable are. You want kids and teenagers (because there’s demand for sex with them, #realtalk) and you know kids and teenagers use social media like it’s their job, so why wouldn’t you be on social media too? Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Tagged, Tumblr, Pinterest, you name it – if kids are using it, traffickers are too.

And what’s more, they not only use this stuff to recruit kids (like in this story andthis one and this one), but they’re also using it to do the selling. Because you know who else uses social media? Well, everybody. But my point is that ‘everybody’ includes buyers. A pimp may have posts on Backpage and other sites where he’s selling people for sex, but the goal is to get potential buyers to see his posts. So he puts them where more people will see them – on all those social media sites I just mentioned.

But wait. Aren’t there rules against this? (You may be asking yourself.)

Frankly, no. There are not explicit rules against it or if there are policies, they aren’t really enforced because most of those in charge of social media haven’t yet caught on to this problem. Or if they have, they’ve decided to stay out of it because of issues of self-expression and freedom of speech and whatnot.* Also, laws haven’t caught up to the full usage of the internet yet. It’s not illegal to talk about buying or selling sex, so they can get away with it.** Sites like Facebook and Instagram might get rid of the occasional dick pic or photo about menstruation or breastfeeding, but they haven’t shown much, if any, progress in dealing with the sale of sex.

Pinterest, however, is doing a great job of this. Most people don’t think of Pinterest as particularly social media, since Pinterest boards are intended to save items for ourselves, rather than share them publicly. But pictures, videos, links – these can all be shared on Pinterest. And who would suspect that a buyer might look among the dessert recipes, fashion inspiration, and DIY how-tos for pictures, videos, and links to ads for sex? Golly, what a clever place to hide.

Long ago (and quietly, for such is their style) our friends at Pinterest banned all pinning of revenge porn. Recently, they’ve done the same for ads from Backpage. Nothing from Backpage may be shared on Pinterest. Ever. Blacklisted. BAM! And not only that, but Pinterest’s policy and safety teams have now been trained by our very own Tina Frundt so they know what to look for and how to fight it. Plus, they’re going to blacklist other sites that sell sex, too! This is great news. Even then, the Pinterest staff were the first to point out that they shouldn’t stop here and “rest on their laurels” - that we all can and should be doing even more.

Pinterest is taking action and protecting the vulnerable in ways that other social media sites haven’t even considered. This is a humungous win from a site that keeps a low profile. Way to go, Pinterest! Here’s hoping other social networks catch up with your social consciousness soon.

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

*To be clear, I’m pro self-expression and freedom of speech. I’m just saying there has to be a way to balance that with preventing people from being victimized. In the non-internet world, you’re free to speak your mind but as soon as you threaten someone, you’ve crossed a line. When it comes to the internet, we haven’t really agreed on that line yet.

**If it were, there are a lot of rappers who would be in trouble, and many of them should be because they’re telling the truth in those songs. But that’s another blog for another day. For now,read this.

The Syrian Refugee Crisis and Trafficking: How Can I Help?

9/8/2015

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Syrian refugee crisis in Europe. You may have seen some devastatingly sad pictures of the body of 3-year-old Aylan Kurdi, who drowned while his family was fleeing to Europe. (I’m not going to post them or link to them here because they’re awful. Google it if you dare.) You may have seen some petitions, news articles, and fundraising on social media, too.

What’s the big deal? Let’s dig into it a little bit.

First of all, there’s been a lot of confusion about what to call these folks. It’s always good practice to define our terms up front:

A refugee is a person who flees for his/her life due to armed conflict or persecution. The millions of people fleeing Syria are refugees. This distinction is important because refugees are entitled to special protections under international law.

A migrant is a person who goes seeking a better life, usually due to economic reasons. This is happening in Europe now, too, but not nearly in the same volume as the Syrian refugees.

An internally displaced person (IDP) is forced to leave home due to armed conflict, persecution, or natural disaster, but flees to another place within the same country. This is a big one in Sudan, Afghanistan, Colombia, and also Syria right now.

(More info is available from UNHCR and the IRC.)

Why is this happening now?

The whole situation is just terrible. The civil war in Syria has been going on for five years and over 4 million people (according to the UNHCR) have fled looking for safety in Europe – or really anywhere. (Another 7 million are internally displaced.)

Some countries don’t want to let them in, others are being more welcoming. (German people overwhelmed the Munich police with donations. That’s really nice.)

(Photo from The Syria Campaign on Facebook.)

The Pope even called for every parish in Europe to take in a migrant family, which I hope they do.

Part of the problem is that Syrian refugees are being called “migrants” in Europe and often in the media. This diminishes the urgency of the situation and could prevent them from receiving the humanitarian aid they need.

This story has been in the news for a few weeks now. But then the photos of little Aylan Kurdi’s body hit the internet last week and the reality of the whole thing was driven home for many of us who aren’t near it.

But Rachel, Courtney’s House is an anti-trafficking organization. What does this have to do with human trafficking?

I’m so glad you asked. Traffickers prey on the vulnerable. Always. The poor, the homeless, the mentally ill, refugees, migrants, IDPs – these are all prime targets for traffickers because they are vulnerable. They lack support systems and funds, and by and large they are desperate. Sadly, this is a target-rich environment for traffickers and they know it.

Traffickers prey on the vulnerable. Always."

There’s no telling how many refugees are ending up trafficked yet because of the chaotic atmosphere and the unseen nature of the crime, but I guarantee we’ll be hearing about it soon, and it won’t be pretty. (Also, we’re talking about both labor trafficking and sex trafficking here.)

What can we do to prevent them from being trafficked?

The best way to prevent refugees from ending up in trafficking situations is to get them to safety. Stable housing, assistance, food, medical care, and community are clutch. Some nations are welcoming the refugees, but not enough and not quickly enough. Humanitarian organizations are doing their best, but they’re strapped for cash and personnel.

Here are two ways you can help:

1. Give. Normally I’d ask you to give to Courtney’s House (and, ahem, here’s that link if you’d like to), but we are not in a position to help in Europe. Here’s a link to an article that lists some large and small organizations that are doing good work over there and tells you how to give to them.

2. Advocate for the US to welcome more refugees. Right now, the US has pledged to let a few thousand resettle here by the end of 2016. For perspective, Germany has pledged to take 800,000. Germany, by the way, has ¼ the population of the US, an economy less than ¼ the size, and nearly 7 times the population density. (Source.)

Here’s a link to a petition on We the People, which is run by the White House. The White House will respond to any petition on that site that gets 100,000 signatures.* (I think this is much better than most online petitions, which have no response requirement or teeth of any kind.) This petition asks that the US admit 65,000 Syrians.

Sure, Courtney’s House focuses on sex trafficking here in the States, but we’re anti-trafficking everywhere. This is a huge crisis. It’s not going to be resolved soon, but with the help of governments and NGOs, we can help some people, get them to safety, and prevent them from being trafficked.

Thanks for reading.

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

*No really, any petition that gets enough signatures. The White House had to respond to a petition to build a Death Star, a la Star Wars. Read the epic response here for a smile.

The 2015 TIP Report - Why It Matters

7/28/2015

Yesterday, the State Department released the 2015 Trafficking in Persons Report. You may have heard it mentioned on the news. You may have heard some controversy about Malaysia’s rating, or Cuba’s. You may have seen a link to it posted on the Courtney’s House social media pages. (Hint hint… please follow us! Links at the top of the page.)

But what is it, really? Why should we care about this hefty tome the TIP office releases every year? It’s just another government report, right? What could possibly be the point?

I’m so glad you asked. Here are four things this year’s report strives to do. After reading it, I think it achieved them:

1. It explains a lot about what trafficking is (and isn’t).

I bet you’ve heard words like “domestic servitude,” “labor trafficking,” “sex trafficking,” “child soldiers,” “debt bondage,” etc. in the discussion about human trafficking. They’re all used to describe kinds of trafficking, but what do they all mean? How are they different? Why do the differences matter? It’s all in there, along with stories of real people who’ve been through it.

Also, why is human smuggling not the same as trafficking? How is child labor different from forced child labor, and why is that distinction important? I tell ya, there’s some interesting information in there.

2. It focuses on supply chains.

In this day and age, we care about where our products come from. With the popularity of notions like Fair Trade, locally grown organic everything, and the debate about GMOs, we’ve come to care about where we get our stuff and what goes into it. So don’t you think it’s important to know if your favorite chocolate started with beans being harvested by forced labor? Or how your cigarettes got stuffed with tobacco? Or who made your clothes, carpets, and shoes? Or who mined the ore that made the parts that went into your car/computer/home, etc.?

This year’s report discusses the importance of supply chains, and it challenges businesses to take responsibility for the people involved in producing their products, right from the raw material. We have become a deeply interconnected global society and this report recognizes those connections. I like that.

3. It explains what the relevant laws and treaties are.

I know at least 20% of you just rolled your eyes and went, “Ugh, boring.” I get that. BUT, this part explains the why about this. It answers questions like:

- Why are they producing this report? (Spoiler alert: it was called for in the TVPA. I’m not going to define that. Google it for yourself.)

- What are the Palermo Protocols? (They’re as important to this issue as the Geneva Conventions are to warfare.)

- Why does the Optional Protocol to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child matter for child soldiers? (Here’s a bonus thing for you to look up: which two countries in the world haven’t ratified the UN CRC? You may be surprised at the answer to that.)

You may not care about all the legal details, but the point is this: the international community is making laws and treaties to combat trafficking. This is the big-deal, high-level, global-scale substance of what is being done in the world to fight trafficking, and that’s pretty interesting.

4. It applauds successes.

The report honors eight people from around the world who are working to fight trafficking, highlights community efforts and advocacy groups, and tells stories about real life. That’s good, right?

And that’s all in the first 45 pages!

After that, there are over 300 pages of country reports, each a page or two or three. Obviously, you don’t have to read all of these, but they’re there if you want. Pick two or three countries you’re interested in. Maybe start with the one where you live, and then the one you’d like to visit on your next vacation. Then perhaps one you’ve heard about in the news. Or one you’ve never heard of before. (Me: Comoros. Sorry, Comoros. I didn’t know you existed. This is a good example of how you can learn something from this report.) See how they’re doing, what efforts they’ve taken, what they could improve on, and where they land in the scheme of things.

Now, the report isn’t perfect. I think it did a good job with those four things, but there are two major drawbacks we need to be aware of:

1. Some of the ratings are controversial.

I mentioned Malaysia and Cuba above. I am not an expert in foreign policy or in the trafficking situations in either of those countries, so I really don’t have any wisdom on this. Here are three links to articles if you’d like to read up on it.

Vice on Malaysia
Reuters on Malaysia and Cuba
Commentary from our friends at Free the Slaves

The TL:DR version: some say Malaysia got upgraded to Tier 2 because of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade deal. Some argue that the reason for that is the TPP will help Malaysia to increase anti-trafficking efforts in the future. Some say Malaysia is legitimately doing better. Others argue that it was a political move so the deal would work. I don’t have the answer, but it’s worth recognizing that this report wasn’t written in a vacuum. It comes in the midst of all the complexities of international relations. It’s never going to be perfect, but it can be pretty thorough.

2. It’s (mostly) not data-driven.

There are some numbers in it – data about prosecutions, convictions, victims identified, and new/amended legislation. (See charts on pages 48 and 55-60.) But the tier ratings for each country weren’t decided that way. The TIP Office staff are dedicated people and they did their due diligence, but this isn’t an exact science. A lot of human trafficking isn’t caught or reported, so it can’t be captured in the data. I say take it for what it is: lots of information that is well-organized and aims to both educate the public and incentivize improvement worldwide. I’m all for that.

So there you have it, my take on the TIP Report. Some ups, some downs. It’s a lot of information, and not everyone is going to read it, but this is our government’s tool to track the human trafficking situation worldwide. If fighting trafficking is an interest of yours (and if you read this much of my blog, it must be), then you definitely want to have a look at this report.

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

The Victim Debate

7/23/2015

At Courtney’s House, we call our clients “survivors.” This is one of the staples of who we are as an organization, and it shows what kind of statement we want to make about the kids that we help. We call them survivors rather than victims, but sometimes it is hard to get people to recognize them as victims in the first place. We live in a world where men and women are questioned when they say they have been raped, and domestic violence puts many women and families on the streets. Why is it so hard to agree to help people who have been victimized, and have now survived? And why are these victims treated as criminals? In some states, police officers arrest supposed child “prostitutes,” and that is why part of our work is to educate law enforcement to recognize when someone is being controlled by another.

Unfortunately, it isn’t just about recognizing if someone is being trafficked. Often law enforcement uses the threat of prostitution charges so that they can get the name of the pimp. As much as we want the pimp to be locked up, threatening a victim with arrest for prostitution is abusive, a hindrance to fostering trust between victims and authority figures, and another hurdle for getting that victim to begin to think of herself/himself as a survivor. (Source)

The way to create change in our law enforcement’s treatment of survivors is to create change in the laws they are enforcing. We have made some great strides recently in legislation, but public support and pressure is what is going to make the most impact. However, we regularly encounter people that are not aware that sex trafficking is a problem in the United States. Part of this comes from the fact that people do not want to imagine people doing horrible things to other humans. People walk out of theaters during torture scenes, or refuse to show rape on television—it is difficult for us to watch other people in pain. If people have such a hard time watching it on the screen, they must jump at the chance to help someone who has actually been a victim of that kind of abuse, but instead those victims’ stories are questioned.

As we at Courtney’s House know, the victims are often the ones that get put into jail, and it takes a lot of therapy before they can accept that they were not guilty. People say that the victims are the ones selling their bodies, and it is their decision—but we know better. Almost always there is a pimp controlling them, but if someone is truly doing it on their own free will, what got them there in the first place? Ask yourself if you would ever sell your body for money; it is not about liking sex. These people put their lives on the line for money; they are abused and destroyed by the people who buy them. And their abusers are the ones that manipulate them into thinking that they did everything of their own choice. So when we support that idea, it makes it even harder for them to come to the realization that they were victims. Just taking at look at the media’s handling of trafficking cases, they consistently refer to the survivors as prostitutes, which has a connotation of choice. How bad is this problem? Take a look at the list I’ve compiled in the last few weeks:

1. “multiple adult women were compelled to engage in prostitution”

2. “A 14-year-old girl caught up in a prostitution ring helped police arrest her hustlers, who sold underage girls for sex out of local hotels and a D.C. apartment.”

3. “The court has acquitted one of the men suspected of having sex with a 16 year old girl in the Valkenburg teen prostitution case”

4. “Witnesses told investigators that Webster set all the prices for the women and took all the money the women received from the prostitution.”

5. “Lala, who began working as a prostitute in 2005, when she was 16, and didn’t want her full name used. “You turn tricks, that’s all you do, and you’re lucky if you just run through them, and don’t get raped or robbed or beat up.”

6. “Earlier this month, a 21-year-old man was jailed for two years for encouraging the girl to become a prostitute”

As human beings we do very disgusting things to each other, and we cannot allow people to keep refusing to face the truth. Ignorance is not bliss if there are people suffering— the best thing you can do is eradicate this business instead of hiding away from it.

One of the worst things you can say when someone names someone as their rapist, is “Oh he/she would never do that.” That takes the attention away from the crime and is already giving credence to the claims of the attacker. Even if that is how you feel, these people cannot be dismissed like that. There must be serious attention paid to these survivors, and if less time was spent in surprise, and more time spent helping the survivor cope with what has happened, then maybe we could help more people.

Face it folks, people are doing worse things than can even be imagined to each other. We need to get out of this shock culture, and be there as human beings to help these victims claim their status as survivors.

Jessica Matthews
Volunteer Coordination Intern

Why Supporting Courtney’s House Matters

6/2/2015

You may have seen Do More 24 all over our website and social media lately. Do More 24 is an online giving day run through the United Way of the National Capital Area. The idea is to Give Where You Live. So you may be asking:

Why should I give to Courtney’s House?

Great question. You know what our mission is – to provide a safe and loving environment for survivors of sex trafficking ages 12 to 21. But what does that actually look like? To help make it clearer, here are some things the five of us have been up to just in the last two weeks:

One of our survivors encountered an urgent situation and needed housing. Two staff members stayed late into a Friday night making calls and finding her a place. It wasn’t easy, and there was a lot of red tape, but we managed it!
We received a referral from a concerned parent. Her daughter is 15, has been in pimp-controlled trafficking, and has multiple mental health issues. Our Survivor Services Coordinator has been working with mom and teen to take the necessary steps toward treating her mental health concerns and getting her into appropriate care.
Another survivor has been dealing with a major bullying situation, which came to a head on a Saturday night. Our Survivor Services Coordinator and a helpful volunteer dropped everything to help her out. They worked with her to get the police involved, secure her safety, and help her cope emotionally.
We started training our summer interns! There are 6 of them, and they are super.
Our house has been under construction because a local church raised money to help us get some repairs done. Exciting, but hectic!
One of our survivors graduated high school, and another one is graduating next week! WAY TO GO!! They also both went to their proms, and we were able to help them get dresses, shoes, makeup, etc. for that. (They were so happy!)
We got a call from a group in Arizona that needed help finding housing for a 16 year old survivor. We were able to hook them up with some partners of ours in New York who had a bed for the child.
Tina trained over 250 New York State Police at the annual Crimes Against Children Seminar in Albany, NY.
Our trash bin got stolen and a kind neighbor helped us replace it. (Who steals trash cans? Jeeze!)
We’ve received a dozen new volunteer applications, three donations through our Amazon Wish List, and more than 15 inquiries about interviews, volunteer groups, school projects, etc.
Our Investigative Services team has identified 12 minors online.

That’s a glimpse into our life at Courtney’s House! You can see the wide variety of the work we do, and this is all just in the last two weeks, with our staff of five!

That brings us back toDo More 24: This is a great opportunity for you (and your friends, coworkers, and family) to help Courtney’s House help the survivors we serve.

Courtney’s House is doing great work, but we need your help to keep doing it. Please do what you can to help. Share the link, give a little bit, and ask your friends to do the same.

JVTA Update: Compromise in the Senate

4/22/2015

Great news: the Senate has reached a compromise on the trafficking bill, the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act (JVTA), so it can pass now! Wahoo!

There’s complicated news, too: it’s a compromise. It’s not quite what we’d hoped for, but it’ll do.

Here’s an article from the New York Times about it.

Let’s break the whole situation down:

The major sticking point was the Hyde Amendment provision that was added to the bill, which meant that the money being distributed to victims couldn’t be used for abortions. Republicans said this was totally normal, but Democrats pointed out that the funds in question weren’t coming from taxpayers (which is what Hyde usually refers to) but from fines on the traffickers. If Hyde suddenly applied to those fines, that would be an unprecedented expansion of its reach. Then there was disagreement, filibustering, and standstill in the Senate.

Courtney's House Founder, Tina Frundt, speaks at a press conference about the JVTA last week. Behind her, from left: Senator Blumenthal, fellow survivor Stacy Jewell Lewis, Senator Schumer, and Senator Leahy.

But yesterday they announced a compromise that will allow the bill to move forward.

The compromise is this: there will be TWO funding pools. One that’s made of funds from criminal fines, and one that’s made of funds that were already appropriated by Congress for something related (Community Health Centers). The first one – the criminal fines – will be available to survivors for lots of things, but not health care. The second one – the other government funds – will be available for health care, but not for abortions. (That’s because they are taxpayer funds, so Hyde applies in its original form.)

“A compromise has finally been reached. It is not perfect, but I am heartened that the agreement provides dedicated funds that will support the health care needs of trafficking survivors… I will support this compromise, but not because I believe it is the best solution. I will vote aye because the survivors who have lost so much already and deserve our support on their own terms have told me that they can live with this compromise.” – Senator Patrick Leahy

So ultimately, 0% of the funds allocated by the bill will be available for abortions, but the expansion of Hyde was taken out, so everyone kinda got what they wanted. Politics is tricky that way.

[Sidebar – this whole thing was also complicated by the fact that the delay on this bill was preventing other important Senate business from occurring, like the confirmation proceedings for Loretta Lynch, the President’s nominee to replace Eric Holder as Attorney General. So political expediency may have played a role in this compromise. Whatever the reasoning was, it happened, and we’re glad the holdup is over.]

So even though this limits the options survivors will have for making decisions about their medical care, we’re happy that the bill will finally pass, because there’s a lot of other good stuff in it, such as training for law enforcement, steps to hold both buyers and traffickers culpable, and money allocated directly for survivors.

It’s a compromise. That’s politics. Now it’s time to pass it and get survivors the help they need.

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

PS: There are some other options available if survivors do need abortions. There might be hoops to jump through, but it's possible. Here are some links to more information about that:
http://www.fundabortionnow.org/get-help/medicaid
https://www.aclu.org/public-funding-abortion

What is going on with that trafficking bill in the Senate?

3/31/2015

As you may have heard, there’s some serious gridlock going on in the Senate over the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act (JVTA). You may be wondering, “what’s the big idea?”

Let me explain.

(Note: I’ll use the word “victim” in this post, since that’s consistent with the wording used in the bill in question. Generally, at Courtney’s House, we prefer the word “survivor” even for people who haven’t gotten out of their trafficking situations yet. It’s more empowering.)

What’s the holdup? Isn’t everyone pretty unanimously against sex trafficking?

Yes, thankfully, they are. The holdup is this: a provision was added that applies the Hyde Amendment restrictions to the funding collected for victims by the other parts of the JVTA. That means that the funding can’t be used for abortions except in cases of rape, incest, or risk to the life of the mother. It’s the same amendment that has gotten Dems and Repubs in an uproar many times in the last 40 years because of that magic word, “abortion.”

Since that happened, the passage of the JVTA has stalled.

Why is that a big deal?

For a few reasons:

1: It ties into the whole debate over whether abortion should be legal in the first place. Obviously, this is a major sticking point in American politics.

2: The purpose of the Hyde Amendment is to prevent taxpayer funds from being used to pay for abortions. BUT, what most people don’t realize is, this actually doesn’t apply here. The JVTA wouldn’t be using taxpayer funds at all. The money that would be given to victims would come from fines paid by the offenders. That is, they’re not taxpayer funds, they’re TRAFFICKER funds. And isn’t there a little poetic justice about traffickers’ ill-gained dough helping their victims recover?

3: This whole debate gets into the question of do victims of sex trafficking need abortions? And the answer to that is: sometimes. But whether they do or don’t, they should have the same freedom of choice that the rest of us have. And choice is something victims of trafficking have been denied in every area of their lives already. Let’s not federally mandate that they can’t have it back.

4: The rest of the JVTA could seriously help some people. It allocates funds for domestic victims of trafficking, which was lacking before. It holds both buyers and traffickers culpable, which is a big step in decreasing demand for sexual exploitation. It also mandates training for law enforcement, first responders, etc., so the people interacting with victims would be better able to recognize them as victims and link them to the appropriate care. This is good, much-needed stuff! And it’s all being held up because of the abortion debate.

Why don’t they just pass it with the amendment because it makes an exception for rape and we all know that sex trafficking = rape?

Great question. The thing is that victims would still have to jump through some hoops to get that exemption. As it is, rape victims have to go through a lengthy process on the state level to get an exemption. In some states, that means showing a police report or a doctor’s note. Sometimes higher officials need to be involved, even all the way up to the state governor. Sometimes it’s practically impossible to get it at all, and some states refuse to even recognize the exemption in the first place. (More about the difficulties of proving the rape exemption can be found here.)

So ultimately, even if we could get federal law to acknowledge that sex trafficking victims are rape victims (which would take a lot), they’d still have to go through another process of proving that they are victims of sex trafficking, and that’s a gigantic boondoggle. It’s better just to remove the Hyde Amendment language in the first place.

What does Courtney’s House think?

Courtney’s House wants victims to have access to all the medical care they need, and we don’t think it’s for us to judge what their needs are. But also – and perhaps even more importantly – we want victims of trafficking to have options. They haven’t had much control over anything in their lives, from their own bodies to whom they have sex with (and how often, and in what way) to their eating habits* to when they can go to the bathroom. Traffickers have taken away their choices. Passing the JVTA without the Hyde Amendment language would give victims the support and the choices they need to recover.

Whatever your opinion is about abortion, this is a bill about trafficking. It helps domestic victims in ways that should have been made into law long ago. Abortion is another issue – let’s secure the rights of victims first.

*Yes, traffickers often withhold food as a control mechanism. You read that right.

What can I do?

Contact your Senator’s office and urge them to push for the Hyde amendment language to be removed from the JVTA.

Tell your friends! There's a lot of confusion and mistaken info going around on this topic. Awareness is key.

For more info on this, check out this article by survivor Holly Austin Smith (author of Walking Prey).

Rachel Boyce
Director of Operations

Special Report on Fox 5 This Thursday!

1/27/2015

Hey! We're going to be featured on local news! If you're in the DC area, check out our special report on sex trafficking. We'll be on Fox 5 at 10pm this Thursday, January 29th. Here's a promo (and yes, that's our founder, Tina Frundt, in the video):

Update: Thanks to Chris for commenting! You can also watch this live online at http://www.myfoxdc.com.

Update again: The report went well! Watch the whole thing, plus an extra interview with Tina on the Fox 5 website here.

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